I use my cell phone as an alarm clock. Last night we all went to bed at 8pm, which is pretty early. At some point in the night, I knocked the cell phone under the bed, and I didn't hear it vibrating. Someone called the house at 6:30, so I was lucky enough to not be late to class.
On my way home from school I hit a pothole, adding an extra 5 inches to the crack that was on my windshield. I decided to finally call the insurance company. $100 deductible, which made me glad because I just upgraded from liability to full coverage when I bought the car. The glass people are coming to the house to fix or replace the windshield in a little bit.
On Wednesday, my sister-in-law goes in for her 20 week scan. My parents are just gooey with emotion over all these grandchildren that are suddenly arriving. Yesterday they were looking at bigger cars, and new car seats. You can't drag them away from the baby clothes in every store, either. My girls will never go without dresses, frilly socks, and baby legs, that's for sure.
I just tried on my favorite sundress from last summer. It fit perfectly, since there was extra room for my ever-expanding gut. No issue with my belly now, but instead, my boobs don't fit in it. It's got the elastic top with an empire waist, and it contorts my boobs into this weird shape. I am sad, because I rarely like dresses and I loved this one. Maybe when I lose some weight it will fit again.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Call In the Parenting Police!
A sampling of comments from Celebrity Baby Blog that are sure to leave you a) dismayed at peoples' ability to be judgmental assholes, or b) stirred into a frothy rage because a toddler isn't wearing a shirt.
The first article contains this picture of Kelly Rutherford and her daughter Helena:
Parenting Police on the scene attempt to make a joke out of being a total killjoy on a cute article: "[A]lthough I must ask, is that a good carrier? it may just be the way Helena is sitting, but it looks like her butt is hanging down and her legs are tucked up, if so, wouldn’t that stretch her back way too much? or is it just my imagination? lol."
Someone call Kelly Rutherford and tell her Helena's gonna be a hunchback if she keeps using that baby carrier.
The second article pertains to this picture of Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise:
The majority of the comments on this article are in defense of the shoelessness, coming from people who are actually real parents to real, young children who more often than not spend their days unclothed to some degree. But it only takes a couple spoilsports to ruin the whole thing.
"Maybe they are going to by her some shoes!!!" and "No shoes….no socks…." and "I don’t get it: Either Suri is dressed to the nines, with heels to match, or she’s barefoot and being carried. Whatever happened to holding a child’s hand as they walked beside you (while wearing proper footwear)?"
Come on, like you people don't carry your kids around on occasion, or let them go without shoes. Gimme a break.
And here's another mother-of-multiples under fire for not treating her cherubs exactly the same way:
"Not to be one of “those” posters, but have we ever seen the other baby? I can’t remember. But I also don’t go to any of the other sites that post pictures."
It's a conspiracy! There's actually only one baby, and Sarah Jessica only wants the attention. Also, NO SHOES, BEING CARRIED! Whatever happened to putting babies in strollers?????
"UGH Baby Bjorns are the WORST for mom and baby! You would think that Sarah Jessica would know about the more stylish and healthy and comfortable options. Beco? Kleinsmekker? Girasol wraps? Ergo, even?"
"I agree with dd: that was an unfortunate carrier and and unfortunate position to choose."
Last but not least, we have little Levi McConaughey, who is being directly made fun of by an adult because of his belly button:
"WHERE IS THE SUNSCREEN? This kid’s mother is Brazilian but he is still at risk of skin cancer. Skin cancer is caused primarily by overexposure to the sun as a child when your skin is more sensitive."
"While everyone thinks it is so cute that Levi is like his father, I think it will be wonderful if the father actually lives to see his children grow into adults. The reason for my opinion is the time Matthew spends in the sun exposing as much of his body as he can, and now he has two little children he can expose to the sun, and God knows what their chances for survival will be from sun damage and various kinds of melanoma. Very dangerous and he shouldn’t be praised. He should be chastised."
"I don’t what all the fuss is about. His dress and hair makes him look like a little “trailer trash” kid. I don’t want to be mean, after all he is an innocent child, but what is with the outie belly button?"
Whatever happened to moms being united instead of snarling and insulting each other over THEIR OWN CHOICES when it comes to parenting? If this how women think they have to be in order to be good parents themselves, I sure hope I never run into any of them and see their child without shoes, or having a tantrum in a grocery store, or appearing not to have sunscreen on.
The first article contains this picture of Kelly Rutherford and her daughter Helena:
Parenting Police on the scene attempt to make a joke out of being a total killjoy on a cute article: "[A]lthough I must ask, is that a good carrier? it may just be the way Helena is sitting, but it looks like her butt is hanging down and her legs are tucked up, if so, wouldn’t that stretch her back way too much? or is it just my imagination? lol."
Someone call Kelly Rutherford and tell her Helena's gonna be a hunchback if she keeps using that baby carrier.
The second article pertains to this picture of Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise:
The majority of the comments on this article are in defense of the shoelessness, coming from people who are actually real parents to real, young children who more often than not spend their days unclothed to some degree. But it only takes a couple spoilsports to ruin the whole thing.
"Maybe they are going to by her some shoes!!!" and "No shoes….no socks…." and "I don’t get it: Either Suri is dressed to the nines, with heels to match, or she’s barefoot and being carried. Whatever happened to holding a child’s hand as they walked beside you (while wearing proper footwear)?"
Come on, like you people don't carry your kids around on occasion, or let them go without shoes. Gimme a break.
And here's another mother-of-multiples under fire for not treating her cherubs exactly the same way:
"Not to be one of “those” posters, but have we ever seen the other baby? I can’t remember. But I also don’t go to any of the other sites that post pictures."
It's a conspiracy! There's actually only one baby, and Sarah Jessica only wants the attention. Also, NO SHOES, BEING CARRIED! Whatever happened to putting babies in strollers?????
"UGH Baby Bjorns are the WORST for mom and baby! You would think that Sarah Jessica would know about the more stylish and healthy and comfortable options. Beco? Kleinsmekker? Girasol wraps? Ergo, even?"
"I agree with dd: that was an unfortunate carrier and and unfortunate position to choose."
Last but not least, we have little Levi McConaughey, who is being directly made fun of by an adult because of his belly button:
"WHERE IS THE SUNSCREEN? This kid’s mother is Brazilian but he is still at risk of skin cancer. Skin cancer is caused primarily by overexposure to the sun as a child when your skin is more sensitive."
"While everyone thinks it is so cute that Levi is like his father, I think it will be wonderful if the father actually lives to see his children grow into adults. The reason for my opinion is the time Matthew spends in the sun exposing as much of his body as he can, and now he has two little children he can expose to the sun, and God knows what their chances for survival will be from sun damage and various kinds of melanoma. Very dangerous and he shouldn’t be praised. He should be chastised."
"I don’t what all the fuss is about. His dress and hair makes him look like a little “trailer trash” kid. I don’t want to be mean, after all he is an innocent child, but what is with the outie belly button?"
Whatever happened to moms being united instead of snarling and insulting each other over THEIR OWN CHOICES when it comes to parenting? If this how women think they have to be in order to be good parents themselves, I sure hope I never run into any of them and see their child without shoes, or having a tantrum in a grocery store, or appearing not to have sunscreen on.
Groundhogs and the Self Defense Dildo
SeeBeeWrite: damn groundhog got into the trash can again
ClockworkMustang: shoot it
ClockworkMustang: poison it
ClockworkMustang: send your vicious little dog after it
SeeBeeWrite: i've shot it twice
SeeBeeWrite: either i have bad aim and or the groundhog is insanely strong
SeeBeeWrite: maybe ill use hollow point next time
ClockworkMustang: varmint bombs
ClockworkMustang: it's a .223 round. hollow. causes small animals to basically explode.
SeeBeeWrite: he's no small animal
ClockworkMustang: almost zero ricochet potential. no overpenetration.
SeeBeeWrite: how do you think he tipped over my trash can? my CITY-ISSUE trash can
ClockworkMustang: just enter animal, extreme fragmentation, and varmint is SHREDDED.
SeeBeeWrite: i dont think im the only person who has taken a shot at him either
ClockworkMustang: maybe he gave it a dramatic look
SeeBeeWrite: he lives over a wide area. like 6 yards. and they're all pretty spread out from each other
ClockworkMustang: get an old bear trap
SeeBeeWrite: fuckin groundhog. it's probably gonna die under my shed
ClockworkMustang: CLANG! SQUISH!
ClockworkMustang: dinner!
Which somehow evolved into:
ClockworkMustang: The Self Defense Dildo
SeeBeeWrite: i'll pass
ClockworkMustang: you might. but there could be a market.
SeeBeeWrite: oh, i'm sure
ClockworkMustang: Behold, the Pavco Killdo
ClockworkMustang: so many uses
ClockworkMustang: 1) sex toy
ClockworkMustang: 2) carry it in the pants for easy access, and makes you look like you have a HUGE wang
ClockworkMustang: 3) beat muggers to death
SeeBeeWrite: why would i want to look like i have a huge wang?
ClockworkMustang: not women. well, not MOST women
ClockworkMustang: i suppose a possible rapist would think twice before grabbing a woman if he thinks she has a huge penis
SeeBeeWrite: i see
ClockworkMustang: makes a strange kinda sense NOW, huh?
ClockworkMustang: shoot it
ClockworkMustang: poison it
ClockworkMustang: send your vicious little dog after it
SeeBeeWrite: i've shot it twice
SeeBeeWrite: either i have bad aim and or the groundhog is insanely strong
SeeBeeWrite: maybe ill use hollow point next time
ClockworkMustang: varmint bombs
ClockworkMustang: it's a .223 round. hollow. causes small animals to basically explode.
SeeBeeWrite: he's no small animal
ClockworkMustang: almost zero ricochet potential. no overpenetration.
SeeBeeWrite: how do you think he tipped over my trash can? my CITY-ISSUE trash can
ClockworkMustang: just enter animal, extreme fragmentation, and varmint is SHREDDED.
SeeBeeWrite: i dont think im the only person who has taken a shot at him either
ClockworkMustang: maybe he gave it a dramatic look
SeeBeeWrite: he lives over a wide area. like 6 yards. and they're all pretty spread out from each other
ClockworkMustang: get an old bear trap
SeeBeeWrite: fuckin groundhog. it's probably gonna die under my shed
ClockworkMustang: CLANG! SQUISH!
ClockworkMustang: dinner!
Which somehow evolved into:
ClockworkMustang: The Self Defense Dildo
SeeBeeWrite: i'll pass
ClockworkMustang: you might. but there could be a market.
SeeBeeWrite: oh, i'm sure
ClockworkMustang: Behold, the Pavco Killdo
ClockworkMustang: so many uses
ClockworkMustang: 1) sex toy
ClockworkMustang: 2) carry it in the pants for easy access, and makes you look like you have a HUGE wang
ClockworkMustang: 3) beat muggers to death
SeeBeeWrite: why would i want to look like i have a huge wang?
ClockworkMustang: not women. well, not MOST women
ClockworkMustang: i suppose a possible rapist would think twice before grabbing a woman if he thinks she has a huge penis
SeeBeeWrite: i see
ClockworkMustang: makes a strange kinda sense NOW, huh?
Friday, April 9, 2010
Summertime
Summer's approaching at last. In Ohio, summer doesn't last long enough to feel like it makes up for all the time we spend buried in the snow. There aren't enough bonfires, late sunsets, or nights spent covered up with a sheet instead of five different comforters.
The older I get, the less special it feels. Summer is less eventful, but busier anyway. I think more and more about past summers than the ones ahead.
I miss the weekend bonfires, trips to the Goodyear hunting and fishing club, days with my cousins, walking to Walgreens to stand in the air conditioning and scrape together enough change to buy candy. The Summit County fair, the Canfield fair, demolition derbies and the world's smallest woman. The tiny kitchen full of fermenting homemade wine. Weekends at the cabin in Southern Ohio, and a trip to the waterfall. Hikes through the Gorge and a million other places my dad seemed to know everything about.
It almost doesn't seem right to blame the demise of all those things on a person, but I do it anyway. We could have gone on that way forever, if not for one fat, bossy woman who sank her claws into my father. Ever since, it's been nothing but change. Renovate our little house, move out, renovate the next, move again, this time far away. Get married, shove religion down my papa's throat and turn him into a zombie, make him so that I have to tiptoe around him with every word I say.
I miss the time before that. Today I just want to go back to simple. The old house, the old way. Days in the sun, with the radio playing on the porch and clothes on the line.
The older I get, the less special it feels. Summer is less eventful, but busier anyway. I think more and more about past summers than the ones ahead.
I miss the weekend bonfires, trips to the Goodyear hunting and fishing club, days with my cousins, walking to Walgreens to stand in the air conditioning and scrape together enough change to buy candy. The Summit County fair, the Canfield fair, demolition derbies and the world's smallest woman. The tiny kitchen full of fermenting homemade wine. Weekends at the cabin in Southern Ohio, and a trip to the waterfall. Hikes through the Gorge and a million other places my dad seemed to know everything about.
It almost doesn't seem right to blame the demise of all those things on a person, but I do it anyway. We could have gone on that way forever, if not for one fat, bossy woman who sank her claws into my father. Ever since, it's been nothing but change. Renovate our little house, move out, renovate the next, move again, this time far away. Get married, shove religion down my papa's throat and turn him into a zombie, make him so that I have to tiptoe around him with every word I say.
I miss the time before that. Today I just want to go back to simple. The old house, the old way. Days in the sun, with the radio playing on the porch and clothes on the line.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Cupcakes! - Third Edition
Yeah, I've been on a little bit of a cupcake jag recently. First the birthday cupcakes:
Then the second batch of birthday cupcakes (dark chocolate fudge with cream cheese frosting and mini choco-chips on top) which I did not bother photographing since I was so disappointed:
And now the batch I made with my brother while he was visiting:
White cake with whipped strawberry frosting.
... Okay, so I can't cook from scratch yet. But I'm getting there! Next week I'm making coconut macaroons, for which I found an easy recipe in a dusty cookbook someone gave me five years ago. Or a lemon meringue torte. Whichever is easier. In addition to being an adventure into beginner baking, this is a strengthening of my self-control. If I can't make it in under five minutes, I usually don't eat it, so this is a double challenge.
Then the second batch of birthday cupcakes (dark chocolate fudge with cream cheese frosting and mini choco-chips on top) which I did not bother photographing since I was so disappointed:
And now the batch I made with my brother while he was visiting:
White cake with whipped strawberry frosting.
... Okay, so I can't cook from scratch yet. But I'm getting there! Next week I'm making coconut macaroons, for which I found an easy recipe in a dusty cookbook someone gave me five years ago. Or a lemon meringue torte. Whichever is easier. In addition to being an adventure into beginner baking, this is a strengthening of my self-control. If I can't make it in under five minutes, I usually don't eat it, so this is a double challenge.
A Desperate Migration
Xanga has still not managed to fix my issues, so here I am on Blogger. So far, it feels lonely. I know that the majority of my Xanga subscribers will not follow me here, since it's not convenient, but I want a goddamn fully-functional blog. After all, I am paying for seebeewrite.com. I want the fucker to work, and it's not, so I'll be here until they fix the problems or my domain name lease is up and I can take it somewhere else.
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